When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

Next thing you want to do is ditch the terrier, and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait...wait. I worry what you just heard was: 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was: 'Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.' Do you understand?

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